intensional:

i have three mosquito bites

three

Marry someone who can make you laugh in public and scream in bed.

— Me giving my friend relationship device. (via dafunnyposts)

opalesent:

I want 0 responsibilities and a lot of lingerie

punacceptable:

*gets 98% accuracy on guitar hero*

MOM get in here NOW im ready to start a band

ssweet-dispositionn:

lilith-not-eve:

Marrying young is not the end of my freedom. It means I want to travel and see the world, but with her by my side. It means I still like drinking in bars and dancing in clubs, but stumbling home with her at 2am and eating pizza in our underwear. It means I know that I want to kiss those lips every morning, and every night before bed. If you see marriage as the end of your ‘freedom’, you’re doing it wrong.

Omg

achievement-hunter:

cnemidophoru-sex-anguis:

worlds most cynical art student

that title is a feat in itself

hbunot:

I would punch you but that would be animal cruelty.

didihearthereadyset:

So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered

"It’s called a vagina."

steptoe:

do you ever talk to someone and feel really happy no matter how shit the conversation is

kushandwizdom:

Words of Emotion
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